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Monday, July 28, 2008

From Munchkin Wrangler's Search Term Safari

effective mall security

It’s a toss-up between the 233rd Tactical Retail Center Intervention Team (Golf Cart borne), based at the Mall of America, or Steve, the senior security guard at West Town Mall in Knoxville, Tennessee. Steve has a really bright flashlight, and rumor has it that he was in the ‘Nam, where he once killed an entire brigade of NVA generals with half a mag of M-16 ammo and a P38 can opener, in the Battle of God Dang, in the Wee Schlong delta. Steve just got certified on pepper spray after his fourth try, and he can’t wait to empty that two-ounce canister of respect into the face of the first punk-ass little bitch kid that mouths off at him in front of the arcade again.


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